Michael Sam's draft-day coverage - whether staged or not - was the right choice to make. So was the tweet Miami Dolphins cornerback Don Jones sent in response.
So were the words of Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban in reference to Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling's racist remarks.
They were all forms of communication based on their honest feelings, which is what precisely what is needed in our current rush-to-judgment society. Each of the actions is necessary to help us establish a new "normal."
To my recollection, no two men ever have kissed or smeared cake on each other on national television after one of the men were drafted into the NFL. So that cannot be considered "normal" in what we expect when we watch coverage of the NFL draft.
Now, were the kissing and cake-smearing over the top? They could be argued both ways, but there's no basis of comparison because no openly gay football player had ever been drafted before. The only certainty is that more gay athletes will come out prior to pursuing professional aspirations, and those responses will be considered along with those of Sam's until a "natural response" evolves.
Jones' tweets obviously weren't sensitive. Nor were they a precursor to him going out and harassing the next gay person he saw. The Miami Dolphins were right in issuing a statement that Jones' tweets in no way reflect the views of the program.
But fining Jones and banning him from team activities until he underwent sensitivity training was completely inappropriate - mostly because, based on the culture of the locker room when offensive linemen Richie Incognito and Jonathan Martin were part of the team, Jones' tweets might've once reflected the views of the program, who let such behavior from the likes of Incognito go on for so long.
Jones was disciplined because of a knee-jerk reaction from an organization caught with its pants down in a prior incident.
The first thing the Dolphins should have asked Jones was "Why do you think it was horrible?" and offered him the opportunity to discuss his feelings with a professional that might be able to help him become more accepting.
Then if he refused or acted out, the Dolphins always retain the right to release him. By punishing Jones, it's conceivable that behind his subsequent statement of contrition, privately he could be even more resentful because of the punishment.
Cuban's awkwardness of a point also was perfectly acceptable because of the awkwardness of the situation Donald Sterling's comment put the NBA, its fans, and really the entire country in, regarding race relations.
Even Sterling should've been given an opportunity to clarify before being asked to leave. That's not to say those offended shouldn't demand Sterling's ouster even if he did have some logical clarification, but the initial response was to shut everything down and boycott him until he left before he had a chance to explain himself.
CNN allowed him to do that, and he failed miserably, showing signs that he may be incompetent and in need of medical attention.
Sterling's comments are a reminder that racism, or at least prejudice, as ESPN's J.A. Adande described it, still is exists in places where it's least expected. So all of our sensitivities are heightened. But at least, Cuban's comments in response also can allow for discussion as to how to make the situation less awkward.
The trouble in these issues of sensitivity comes when people are condemned or criticized for expressing their feelings. As Cuban said, according to ESPN, "I'm the one guy who says don't force stupid people to be quiet. I want to know who the morons are."
All these extreme responses - from Sam's possible "staged" reaction to getting drafted and gay activists' anger over heterosexuals' uneasiness over his kisses to his boyfriend, to the tweets from Jones or former University of Mississippi basketball player Marshall Henderson, who announced his was boycotting ESPN's SportsCenter until it stopped showing Sam's draft-day moment, saying his 7- and 11-year-old brothers were watching and then using the hashtag "#SICKENING" - allow for all of us parameters to find that middle ground from which we all can coexist and work together.
When the extreme responses are met with extreme opposite responses, that's when trouble comes. People take sides, being right is more important than being reasonable and extremism is nurtured.
That's when tragedies occur, such as an unarmed black man losing his life because a white man feels so threatened by his presence. Or a gay Wyoming man, Matthew Shepard, being beaten to death because two others felt so threatened by his mere existence.
Cuban quickly apologized to the Trayvon Martin family for a portion of his comments, saying he didn't take them into consideration when he made his "black kid in a hoodie" reference. Hopefully, he reacted because a member of Martin's family reached out to him, personally, rather than to the mob mentality that accused him of racism or prejudice over his original comments.
Sportscasters and writers wondered aloud whether the NBA, already dealing with the Sterling issue, would discipline Cuban. If it does, it would be as wrong as the Dolphins disciplining Jones. The NBA, apparently, had several occasions to deal with Sterling before V. Stiviano's leaked recording exposed him. It shouldn't lash out at Cuban because it failed to act on Sterling sooner.
As for Sam, if he wants to do a documentary (the St. Louis Rams don't have to agree) or do a game show or whatever else he wants, even as he tries to be recognized as a "football player," rather than a "gay football player," let him.
He may realize the same fate as Tim Tebow, whose religious persona outweighed his football talent and was quickly ushered out of the league. At least, the next openly gay athlete would learn from Sam's mistakes and adjust his approach until he does succeed.
And when enough gay athletes have succeeded so that the thought of a documentary chronicling a gay athlete's mission to play professional sports is too mundane, we all win.
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