David Beckham was named 2005's Sexiest Man Alive by People Magazine.

No, wait. That's 2015.

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Somehow, a retired footballer incapable of starting up his own MLS franchise in Miami is relevant enough to be named People's "Sexiest Man Alive." Clearly, relevancy and recent accolades are no longer required.

There were better selections for the "prestigious" honor, chief among them Tim Tebow. Below is a comprehensive list.

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Tim Tebow

Relevancy and recent accolades are no longer required, right? No athlete is more irrelvant and achieved less on the field in 2015 than Tim Tebow.

Tom Brady

Beckham isn't the only successful athlete pulling models on his day off. If you can get past the deflated balls -- we know Gisele Bundchen did -- Tom Brady is as solid a choice as anyone.

Cam Newton

There's nothing sexier than a man who can dance. Trust us, no one in the NFL can dance better than Cam Newton.

The Panthers QB was recently the subject of a controversial end zone dance in Carolina's 27-10 victory over the Titans on Sunday. At least you know he'll be prepared for a Saturday night out on the town.

Cristiano Ronaldo

What has been said about Cristiano Ronaldo's body that hasn't been said about a sunset?

Unlike David Beckham's underwear ads, Ronaldo's features a footballer who's still in the running for the FIFA Ballon d'Or.

Olivier Giroud

Olivier Giroud was already named the Premier League's sexiest player, per Metro. What's one more award?

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