All good things must come to an end. For Mardy Fish, that ending came on Wednesday. The six-time winner lost to Feliciano Lopez in the second round of the U.S. Open, forcing him to retire without a single Grand Slam title.
It was an inevitable moment for Fish.
The beginning of his end came after pulling out of a fourth-round match against Roger Federer in 2012. He cited precautionary measures and doctor’s orders. In a post on The Players’ Tribune, however, he revealed it was much more than that.
Driving in a car with his wife, nervous about his match, Fish let his anxiety get the best of him.
“I was thinking, Can you imagine? Can you imagine if I didn’t play this match? I couldn’t wrap my head around it,” he wrote. “In that moment, I couldn’t wrap my head around anything.
“But then, finally, I heard her [my wife]. ‘You don’t have to play. You don’t have to play. Don’t play.’ And just like that, it hit me. I remember it so vividly, and so powerfully. ‘Oh god,’ I thought. ‘I’m…not going to do it. I’m not going to go out there, anxious, in front of 22,000 people. I’m not going to play Roger. I’m not going to play.
“I didn’t play.”
Fish’s anxiety was a product of his emergence as one of Tennis’ top players. Ranked No. 8 in the world in 2012, it became a burden instead of a blessing, so much so that Fish didn’t even recall defeating Gilles Simon in the third round of the 2012 U.S. Open.
“I had no idea what was going on, tennis-wise,” he wrote. “No idea. I don’t remember a thing. Somehow I ended up winning the next three games, and the set, and the match. But I don’t remember it at all.”
All things considered, he already predetermined the U.S. Open will be the final tournament of his illustrious career.
“Though I think that I can still play at a pretty high level, this will be my last tournament. After the Open, I’ll retire from tennis.”
True to his word, Fish waved goodbye to the New York City crowd on Wednesday.
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We're waving right back @MardyFish. You've had an awesome career and we're honored you chose to end it here. #usopen https://t.co/UYktgknz1r
— US Open Tennis (@usopen) September 2, 2015
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