Johnny Manziel, Marcus Mariota, Tim Tebow and Jameis Winston ... just call them “ESPN4.” As in the four NFL QBs ESPN habitually shoves down your throat this offseason.

Depending on your loose interpretation, all four played football in preseason Week 1.

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Although they combined for 336 passing yards, the quartet had several hours of nearly unwatchable QB play. Read on for a recap of each performance.

Johnny Manziel

Competent, that’s the new standard for Johnny Football. In five series of work in relief of Josh McCown, the first-round pick completed 7-of-11 attempts for 42 yards. His only flash of brilliance came in the second quarter, scrambling for 12 yards into the Dawg Pound.

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The biggest takeaway for Manziel, however, came in the turnover department. Zero interceptions. Zero fumbles.

"I thought I was pretty good,'' Manziel said after the Browns lost 20-17 to the Redskins in the preseason opener, per Cleveland.com. "Nothing special, nothing terrible. Right there in the middle.”

Averaging 3.8 yards per attempt is apparently “right here in the middle” now.

Marcus Mariota

Mariota hadn’t thrown an interception in 186 attempts in training camp. Then, he had to play actual football.

Within his first nine professional snaps, Mariota threw a pick and lost a fumble that was returned for a touchdown. He would finish 7-of-8 for 94 yards. Fortunately for Mariota, Zach Mettenberger also threw an interception -- he just managed to couple it with 129 yards and a touchdown.

Jameis Winston

Things didn’t fare well for Winston, either.

The No. 1 overall pick went 9-of-19 for 131 yards and one INT. His rhythm finally came with less than four minutes in the first half, completing five consecutive passes.

For Winston, it all comes down to the tempo of the game.

“I think we’re good at playing fast,” Winston said, per USA Today. “When we pick up the tempo and everything starts rolling, everything just starts going downhill. Our offensive line did great, everyone around me did great and when we pick up that intensity, we see what we’re capable of.”

Tim Tebow

Of all four QBs, it was Tebow who sadly performed the best. Admittedly, it came against future unemployed NFL players.

The former Heisman winner threw for 69 yards, but like his counterparts, failed to throw a touchdown. His seven-yard TD run will be enough for Skip Bayless to lose what’s left of his mind.

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