Michael Phelps is the most decorated Olympian of all-time, and his accomplishments transcend swimming. Few knew that Phelps was struggling with depression and alcoholism toward the end of his reign.

Phelps has 18 gold medals, more than any Olympian ever, but he also recently went through a period of time in which he said he didn’t “want to be alive” anymore, according to Sports Illustrated. Phelps had been arrested for driving under the influence, and going 85 miles per hour in a 45 miles per hour zone. Because of the shame he felt for that incident, plus earlier ones including a DUI and being photographed smoking out of a bong, Phelps reportedly went into a shell.

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“It was every bit as bad as you would imagine. You could see he was feeling the weight of his actions. He knows he has kids who look up to him. He has his foundation. He knew he let people down, and he had no idea exactly what was going to happen,” his sister Shea told SI.

Now, Phelps is determined to regain his top spot in the swimming world. Sporting a leaner frame, and a face changed by age (he’s 30 now) and “cupping therapy,” which promotes deep tissue massage, Phelps thinks he can be better than ever. He’s re-dedicated to his craft and more mature. Scarily enough, he says he’s never worked this hard.

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“Peter, it’s going to be interesting. I’ve never really given it everything I have,” Phelps told his agent Peter Carlisle. He’s been so impressive that his coaches believe his times will approach or even surpass the records he set while swimming in since-banned suits that enhanced his performance.

“You take the pluses of not drinking anymore and add his strength and physical maturation,” said coach Eddie Reese. “I think we’re going to see him go faster than he’s ever gone. Faster than [high-tech] suit times.”

Phelps doesn’t resemble the baby-faced savant who burst onto the scene in 2000, but the grizzled, bearded, new Phelps might be just as dominant.

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