Jonathan Martin retired from the NFL on July 27, 2015, citing a back injury that would have made him miss the entire 2015 season. On Wednesday, the former Stanford man revealed his health issues went beyond a physical capacity.
In a second-person voice, Martin wrote at length about how his background, unique build and other factors made him feel alienated.
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“You’re one of just a handful of minorities in elite private schools. You learn to tone down your size and blackness by becoming shy, introverted, friendly, so you won’t scare the little rich white kids or their parents,” he wrote. “Neither black nor white people accept you because they don’t understand you.
“It takes away your self-confidence, your self-worth, your sanity.”
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For Martin, that burden of becoming an NFL player led to substance abuse and attempted suicide.
I truly think people owe Richie Incognito an apology. He wasn't Jonathan Martin's issue. Abusive? Yes. A problem? Nope!
— Omar Kelly (@OmarKelly) August 26, 2015
“Your job leads you to attempt to kill yourself on multiple occasions,” he continued. “Your self-perceived social inadequacy dominates your every waking moment and thought. You're petrified of going to work. You sleep 12, 14, 16, hours a day when you can, or not at all.
“You drink too much, smoke weed constantly, have trouble focusing on doing your job, playing the sport that you grew up obsessed with.”
The post was just the latest peak into the tumultuous world of the NFL.
Martin's words weren’t all bleak and morbid in nature, though. Most notable in his Tweet was a message to future kids that grow up following his path.
“You let your demons go, knowing that, perhaps, sharing your story can help some other chubby, goofy, socially-isolated, sensitive kid getting bullied in America who feels like no one in the world cares about them.
“And let them know that they aren't alone.”
Martin’s message can be read in full below. (Warning: Tweet contains foul language).
If you don't know... Now you know pic.twitter.com/hE3vimkXdu
— Jonathan A. Martin (@J_Martin71) August 26, 2015
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